


Haunt

by oubastet



Series: A Heavy Heart [4]
Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: M/M, Miqo'te Warrior of Light (Final Fantasy XIV), mentions of zenos but he's mostly in dreamscapes or echo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-17
Updated: 2019-02-17
Packaged: 2019-10-30 03:55:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,229
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17821400
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oubastet/pseuds/oubastet
Summary: Memories and feelings of a painful nature, like a fresh open wound come back to visit.





	Haunt

**Author's Note:**

> i started this last june and i don't like things sitting in my google drive so haha here's more kafe struggling with everything that he has to deal with and then cuddling with his big boyfriend ;3
> 
> xoxoxo thanks for stopping by

It was very hard to trust this Doman who rubbed so closely with Garleans. Kafe wanted some semblance of peace so badly, he was becoming quite tired of having to kill and watch his friends suffer around him. It was wearing thin the armor he had worn around himself. Yet all in one go his psyche was ready to crumble in a deafening crash.

Yotsuyu alive and well had made Kafe want to retch. Her face devoid of cruelty, her memories seemingly erased, and Gosetsu protecting her. The man and the woman thought dead, but it was a very short-lived pleasure. Hien seemed like he wanted to slice her neck open on the spot, and Yugiri’s expression turned stone cold. Kafe’s blood boiled until he felt heavy with it.

Kafe was a patient Miqo’te, not easily turned to fury. But oh, seeing Yotsuyu had brought all manner of memories back, and none were kind. She had loathed him, cursed him, threatened those next to him and Kafe returned that feeling with all the anger he could muster. He hated seeing her, but he would do nothing. Not at the cost of Gosetsu and the peace Hien was trying so hard to achieve.

It helped none when he met Asahi.

Kafe was uncomfortable with him at the start, wary, trying not to see the facade in his calm face. The man spoke of peace, and prisoner exchange, giving that gentle and misleading smile. It made Kafe’s stomach turn, like a knife was poised at his ribs.

Then, the Echo gave Kafe that lovely gift. Seeing Zenos again, seeing him cut down samurai like they were flies buzzing about a carcass. Asahi was so enamored with Zenos they moment that had met. His eyes sparkled with adoration and pride, and Kafe realized it wasn’t very different from how people viewed him. Zenos had saved Asahi from a gruesome fate, and the young man devoted his entire self to the man’s cause.

The echos left Kafe feeling sick, his hands shook and the urge to vomit rose again. He barely registered what else Asahi snarled at him behind everyone else’s back, too focused on breathing. Zenos was dead, he should be dead. Yet Asashi seemed to imply that Zenos was alive. He heard Asahi and the men accompanying him leave, stared after them as that bitter feeling grew in his stomach. He wanted to run away, far away from Doma. Away from Asahi and Yotsuyu and that looming sense of fear.

A fear he should have forgone the moment Zenos had fallen in the Menagerie, but oh, it bit and clawed so painfully at his memory. It had gored him like a spear, and the nightmares hadn’t stopped. Too many times he would wake in the middle of the night clutching at his chest to make sure his heart was still beating and the wounds had closed only to leave a scar. Many times he was alone to his thoughts while in the middle of travelling, but sometimes he was with Magnai, and his partner would help to soothe away the dreams. 

But he couldn’t run away into Magnai’s safe embrace now, the Warrior of Light was needed. It was times like this that Kafe wished that the crystal had chosen someone more strong of mind, someone who had nothing ever to lose and didn’t fear the next day being their last. Kafe had gone head-first into all this, having had nothing before. Now it seemed he had too much.

He didn’t like feeling angry and scared. It weighed on him terribly. It made everyone worry, and that was the worst part. When Alphinaud had noted Kafe’s pale complexion he had waved it off as eating some bad vegetables, and turned away to run a shaky hand along the details of his bow. He rubbed a thumb over a jewel inset by the grip, felt the worn wood smoothed from battle-use. The movements calmed him, let him know he had his weapon close. Reaching up to an ear, he felt the earring that was pierced there; a gift from Magnai, a little bell that had been a joke at first, but it had such a pretty little sound that Kafe quickly become quite fond of it. A final reach into his pocket, making sure one of Haurchefant’s earrings was still there, close and safe.

Familiar habits gone through, Kafe felt himself relax, the moonlight on the beach giving off silver shadows. His seeker eyes having trouble with the lampless night, he went closer to his friends, finding comfort in their company now devoid of Asahi.

Despite his flight or fight instincts still roaring in his ears, Kafe decided to let off steam in a away he rarely did; a drink. He had enjoyed the bite of alcohol in his youth, when he was more free to do as he pleased after getting a few meager coin doing a simple job and enjoying the cordial festivities of the taverns. Though ever since Haurchefant’s death when he had drank far too much a few nights after, he had tried not to drink anything entirely. But he needed to feel like he was far away, and Kugane was the first place he could think of with ample amounts of sake.

Leaving his companions, Kafe closed his eyes and felt the crystal hum around him. It was a normal sound, but it seemed so strained now, like he was further down deep in the ocean.

Ever bustling, Kugane’s Aetheryte plaza was a hive of activity. And Kafe pulled up his hood to hide his face from immediate eyes. He contemplated visiting Tataru, but his mood was so dark that he decided to forgo the temptation; she didn’t need to listen to the ramblings of a sour cat.

It was a quick walk to the a small bar he had found after a few visits, and he sat in one of the old plush stools without hesitation. Ordering some sake, which he had found he quite liked when they had first arrived here, he poured into the small cup and gulped it down. It burned a little, as it had been a while since he had anything of the sort, but after a few cups he was feeling that slight buzz in his fingers. It was probably very dangerous to get drunk in public, but he would rather be near too many people than none at all. If Asahi came and killed him right now, everyone would see and know who did it. While it was a morbid thought, but that’s all he could think up.

Ordering a second bottle, Kafe leaned into the counter, mind hazy with drink. He could barely register the person sitting next to him, and twitched an ear in their direction. The person ordered a more Eorzean name of drink, and was handed quite the large pint, which was chugged fairly quickly. Kafe raised an eyebrow, turning to get a better look at his counter friend.

It was an au ri Xaela woman, dark blue skin, white hair, and a splash of pure white paint over the top of her face, contrasting nicely with the black and white of her eyes. She turned, seeing Kafe’s stare, and grinned a toothy smile. She was much larger than Kafe; taller, broader, with a paladin’s sword and shield at her hips. Kafe would definitely lose in a one on one fight if he wasn’t the Warrior of Light, but then again, he might lose anyway in terms of brute strength.

“‘Ello there, kitty cat. Why, yer small.” She laughed, leaning an elbow on the counter as she glanced Kafe over. Puffing out his tail and shoulders, Kafe narrowed his eyes. “Never heard that before.” He grumbled back, really not in the mood to be reminded of his stature.

“Sorry, sorry, all you miqo’te are so tiny tiny tiny. Though I can’t talk much, I was an itty bitty thing when I was li’l.” She corrected her own rudeness with a genuine apology, tilting her head.

“Haven’t you anything better to do that make fun of someone.” Kafe poured himself another drink, taking a swing of it as the woman narrowed her eyes at him. He was always too talkative with strangers when he drank.

“Careful, kitty. I don’t know who you are, but I’m kinda cross right now.” She tapped on the counter for the bartender, getting a refill of her own drink. Now Kafe’s turn to be amused, he resisted to chuckled at the fact she didn’t know who he was. It wasn’t uncommon for people to be unaware, but it was almost annoying when you couldn’t walk through town without people talking to you about most anything. Kafe tried to give everyone an ear, but it got tiring when he could barely have a good night’s rest, left to his own broiling thoughts.

“What do you have to be cross about?” He mused, taking a pause in his drinking to converse. Now, he didn’t want to make a contest out of who’s life was shittier, but his had been particularly grueling lately, so he wanted to see what this woman had to woe over.

The woman put her lips to her glass, then brought it away with a frown. “Brave, ain’tcha? Really gonna taunt Fenyang, huh?”

“And that might be?” Kafe asked, realizing belatedly the woman was talking about herself. He almost rolled his eyes.

“Me! And I’d love to know yer name, kitty?” Fenyang grinned again, this time more provocative, her spiked tail swaying behind her. Kafe took a moment for another drink, finally taking off his hood to show his face. “Kafe.” He said simply, keeping his tone neutral. It didn’t take too much effort; he had two bottles of sake coursing through him, he was incredibly tired, and honestly would rather be taking a nap right now if he could.

Immediately Fenyang’s eyes widened, and she lost the grin covering her face. She reached up a hand to pinch the bridge of her nose, letting out a long, aggravated sigh.

“Oh my god yer the Warrior of Light. Shite.” She mumbled, and Kafe’s tailed raised in a pleased, triumphant manner. 

“Astrals, I should’ve realized just by yer face. Everyone knows that face. X-shaped tat, scars, the weird dark aesthetic even though yer a bard,… and tiny.” She teased out the last word, but Kafe was truly unaffected by now. Being tiny suited him just fine, especially when it was so easy to curl his entire body in Magnai’s lap. 

Daydreaming suddenly, he smiled, completely ignoring Fenyang for thoughts of the Xaela khagan. He very much wished to be at the Dawn Throne right now, and wondered why on earth he hadn’t done that immediately. Well he was here now and very inebriated, so there was no way he was traveling anywhere anytime soon. 

Fenyang’s voice brought him back to reality, but he only barely listened. “Here I am, talkin’ down on the Warrior of Light like he’s just some random cat. Phenomenal. Pa’ would be rollin’ in his grave.” She sighed, finishing the rest of her drink on one fell swoop. She pointed a finger at him, seeming completely sober despite the amount of alcohol, “And you. You really like playin’ people, eh? Makin’ me look like a fool.”

Kafe grinned, fangs showing as he shrugged a shoulder. It must be Fray talking, but sometimes he very much did like people to squirm after threatening him moments before they learned who he really was.

“I’m surprised yer still in one piece honestly, after all that shite down in Ala Mhigo.”

Kafe’s body abruptly tensed at that, and his cloudy mind tumbled over the sudden rush of memories. He closed his eyes, hissing at the headache that came with the memories; flashes of explosion, Zenos, Shinryu--

“Oi.” Fenyang suddenly took his shoulder, giving him a little shake. “Oi, you alright there? Maybe you’ve had too much.”

Eyes narrowed, Kafe shook the bottle of sake, finding it empty. He was half tempted to order another, not caring at the moment how he was feeling or would feel in the morning. Before he could open his mouth, Fenyang slammed some coin on the counter, taking Kafe under the arm and dragging him off.

“Alright, where you livin’.” She growled, jaw set. She seemed determined to get him home for some reason, and Kafe could barely muster up a struggle. Thinking far too hard about the concept of home, Kafe went quiet until he started to mumble.

“Hmm, Gridania…. No, Ishgard… Or… Othard…? Dunno.”

“Ya don’t know? How do ya not know where ya live?” Fenyang snapped, taking him out of the bar for now, letting him breathe in the cool night air. Kafe took a deep breath, grasping at straws. Oh, Astrals, he would never have sake ever again… he would have to tell Alphie to make sure he never went near it.

“Kitty cat, best remember where home is or I’m dumpin’ ya outside.” The woman holding him up growled, though it seemed she wasn’t going to do that despite Kafe’s state. She talked rough but her morals appeared solid.

Kafe stared at his boots, vision swirling at the mere concept of what home was. It was with Magnai, and the Scions, but where else was it? There was nothing, and even when he thought he had too much, home was something he didn’t have. He couldn’t call anything home, he couldn’t endanger anything. Asahi would find him and Zenos would find him and slice the throats of everyone he held dear just to get a good show of it.

The thoughts were making him panic, images of the corpses at the Resistance camp flooding his brain and making his chest heave. He could hear Fenyang call out to him, ask if he was alright. He shook his head wildly, not in answer to her, but in an attempt to get Zenos out of his head. That bloodied smile, that laugh, the hungry eyes, everything was burned into his memory like a fresh brand; red and smelling of charred skin..

“Alphinaud, Alphinaud…” Kafe whimpered, reaching out for one person who could and would drop everything to run to his side. His linkpearl felt heavy, and it flashed with his weak attempt to communicate. It blinked back in answer, and Alphinaud's worried voice came through.

“Kafe? Kafe, whatever is the matter? Are you alright?” The young elezen was far too quick to panic, but it wasn’t often he heard Kafe so tired and whimpery. The miqo’te felt his head throb again, handing off the linkpearl to Fenyang and shaking his head. The woman looked alarmed, but took the small object, tapping it and talking.

“‘Ello? I’m with the Warrior of Light and he just gave this thing to me.”

“Who are you? Is Kafe hurt?” The elezen’s voice was immediately apprehensive, but Fenyang thought that quite valid; the Warrior of Light was having some kind of meltdown and she suddenly had his linkpearl.

“Don’t get all defensive now, I ain’t done nothin’ to him. He had way too much to drink and is havin’ a hard time of it. Dunno what’d got him so messed up, but he called you.” She said casually, calm despite the accusation that had been apparent in Alphinaud’s voice. The young man on the other end sighed, seeming a little more relieved. The sound of books and papers being set down on a desk ruffled through the linkpearl, until he spoke again, calmly.

“Where are you? I’m in Kugane on business, I can meet you, if possible?”

“Ah, Kugane, down close to the docks. If you came fast enough maybe you’ll get to see the Warrior of Light barf all over the pretty cobbles.” Laughed Fenyang, hearing Alphinaud let out an alarmed grumble. He said he’d be over as quickly as he was able, then their communication ended. Turning back to the green-looking Miqo’te she was holding up, Fenyang frowned. She had been joking when she said Kafe would throw up, but he looked far too ready to do just that. Steering him closer to the docks, Fenyang made sure he could be sick into the sea if he needed. She didn’t want to clean up anything.

Kafe wobbled, a hand over his mouth as the mix of alcohol and the panic washed over him. He saw the wooden boards of the ferry docks, sprinting over to the side, and upending all his hard work from the hour prior. Fenyang stood close by, playing with an ornament on her horns and looking at him with narrowed eyes. Oh, this was downright sad, said her expression, though Kafe had to agree. He was one of the most powerful men in Eorzea, and he was getting sick after having a fucking traumatic flashback.

He sat on the end of the boards, trying to calm down while he waited for Alphinaud. It was torture, but he was beginning to feel himself relax, thinking of positive, good memories.

Sharing tea with the twins, Lyse smiling at him in her red dress, Aymeric’s smooth voice talking political nonsense, leaning against Magnai and curling close to him…

It brushed everything away, until Kafe’s vision cleared so he could watch the water gently lapping at the pier. The water was soothing, hypnotic. He wished he could be staring up into a huge tree, its leaves flowing gently in the wind,... but this would have to do. Fenyang was silent, surprisingly polite as Kafe got his bearings back. It wasn’t too long before he heard the rushed footsteps that he recognized all too easily as Alphinaud’s.

The young elezen skidded to a halt nearby, then took slower strides over to Kafe, who didn’t move from his spot with feet dangling off the docks. Sitting next to him, Alphinaud breathed out a long, worried sigh.

“Hello.” Kafe said simply, back still hunched over. He could feel the irritation spark off his younger friend at the curt greeting, but it faded away quickly.

“You call me sounding as if you’ve just been deuling Nidhogg… and all you give me is a ‘hello’? That’s far too like you, Kafe.” Alphinaud said with a small smile, glancing at Kafe worriedly.

“I… would honestly rather have been dealing with Nidhogg.” Kafe admitted, feeling the sadness bubble up. Oh no… he remembered clearly now why he never wanted to get drunk; he cried. He dug his nails into his palms, continuing to stare at the water, watched it move back and forth with the tide. Turning to their silent companion, Alphinaud stood up, going over to her.

“I must thank you for taking care of him. My name is Alphinaud Leveilleur-” He held out a hand to shake, but Fenyang only looked at it was a raised eyebrow. She glanced over to Kafe in the sorry state he was still in, folding her arms. “What’s got ‘im cryin’ like a kitten? He’s the Warrior of light, ain’t he?” She saw the miqo’te flinch at her words.

“He’s the same as anyone else is...” Alphinaud pointed out with expertly reigned in hostility, eyes downcast for a moment, as if some memory passed through as fleeting as a breeze.

Fenyang let out a loud ‘hmph’ and pushed herself up from leaning against a wall. She began to walk away, throwing a little wave towards Kafe. “See ya, kitty.” And was gone without another word. Alphinaud stared after her curiously, but went back to Kafe, steeling himself for the inevitability of tears. He put a hand on the miqo’te’s shoulder in a silent gesture of companionship, willing Kafe to speak his mind.

Kafe felt heavy, and he continued to stare down into the water, almost afraid to meet Alphinaud’s worried gaze. He hated talking. Magnai was easy cause the man didn’t try too much to pick him apart and Kafe very much liked the blunt manner in which he responded. Kafe didn’t like sugary words, didn’t like it when people told him eloquently to lift up his head and wipe away his sorrows. Didn’t like thinking about how he couldn’t grasp yet to forget.

The thoughts from earlier were beginning to come back, though hazy with drink. He twitched an ear towards Alphinaud, making up his mind to make some semblance of conversation.

“I don’t trust Asahi. Nor Yotsuyu.”

“I’m not too keen on trusting them right away either, but I can’t see them completely at fault. Did something happen?” The young elezen asked, tilting his head. Kafe let out a raspy chuckle, expression darkening. “Asahi’s a foul shite.”

Leaning back in surprise, Alphinaud raised his eyebrows as Kafe continued, voice sour. “He spoke so prettily, too. Oh, well. At least if I have to kill him I won’t feel too bad about it.”

“Kafe.” Alphinaud hushed as a warning, voice tense. “What’s gotten into you today? I haven’t seen you like this since…” He trailed off, mouth forming a thin line as he remembered the last time Kafe had seemed so wounded; literally and figuratively. Kafe must be quite rattled to want to come out here and get drunk on cheap sake… Nevertheless, he wasn't going to deny the man that, not like he could. But not like Kafe would ever purposefully ignore his advice, either.

Alphinaud knew Kafe wouldn’t outright kill anybody unless they caused direct harm to himself or others, so threatening Asahi’s life when the man seemingly had done nothing as of yet troubled the young elezen. Still, he would stay on his toes, trusting his friend’s incredible foresight. Kafe had a knack for being able to tell when a person was fishy.

Kafe felt nauseous again, leaning over and covering his mouth. Alphinaud, having done some quick thinking before he left to meet the miqo’te, handed over a bottle of water. Kafe mumbled a thank you, taking it and chugging the entire bottle as fast as possible. Watching him, slightly bemused, Alphinaud sighed.

“I’m almost grateful you weren’t at the Dawn Throne. That place is somewhat… intimidating.” He confessed, watching Kafe’s ears perk up, his tail raising in amusement. Wiping at his mouth, Kafe handed the empty bottle back over, finally smiling.

“Oh? Are the Oronir scary?”

“I don't like how they treated my sister and Lyse.” Alphinuad huffed. Nodding slowly, Kafe couldn’t help but agree. “Yes, some of the tribes treat women differently. Magnai is getting better. I don’t mean to change a culture but I think his head is beginning to get sore with all the times I’ve tugged him to the ground by a horn after an ill-mannered quip.”

Laughing, Alphinaud thought the mere picture of it was hilarious. Kafe was probably only a ways past Magnai’s waist, but the small miqo’te was strong. Must be a reason why the Xaela was so enamored with the Warrior of Light, among other things.

“Goodness, Kafe, please do that in front of Alisiea next time. It would make any of her sour days instantly better.” Chuckled Alphinaud, to which his friend eagerly nodded.

====

Deciding he was well enough and eager enough to sleep, Kafe watched Alphinaud leave. The elezen was still quite worried, but after a good hour or so of conversation, they both looked terribly tired. Kafe honestly didn’t even know how he was still conscious. Alphinaud offered to walk him to Tataru’s home in the city, and while they both knew she would readily take in one of her dearest friends for the night, Kafe declined, craving the blanket and pillow monstrosity he had made back in his room with Magnai at the Dawn Throne.

A quick yet sluggish teleport later, he was greeted with the open sky of the Steppe. Instantly feeling much more refreshed, Kafe toddled towards the most middle structure, looking forward to a dreamless sleep. The passageways let off a warm, torch-lit glow, and it was calming on his eyes. The few guards awake gave him one look and laughed at his disheveled state, not even bothering to help him through all of the heavy doors.

Sneaking into Magnai’s room, he undressed down to his smallclothes. He could see Magnai sleeping, large chest rising and falling, eyes closed. As Kafe began to slip under the covers, still as quietly as he could, Magnai raised an arm up, letting the small miqo’te curl up against his side.

“Nhaama… it is late.” Was all he mumbled, voice heavy with sleep.

Kafe ignored him, rubbing the side of his head against some of his partner’s chest scales, purring softly. He was feeling a little giddy now, the last of his depressive thoughts escaping as he felt Magnai’s arm around him. He was safe here.

“You smell of Doman wine.” Grumbled Magnai, sniffling audibly, to which Kafe felt a short-lived pang of guilt; it would have been nicer to drink with Magnai in the long run.

“Bad day.” Kafe answered, ears going up as he felt Magnani's large hand lay on his head. He scratched a thumb behind a soft ear, and Kafe immediately melted into the touch, becoming even drowsier. “Would you tell me?” His partner asked, eyes still closed.

Pursing his lips, Kafe bit into the side of his cheek, deciding to explain. Magnai listened in quiet, eyes opening and narrowing slightly as Kafe mentioned Asahi’s bitter words. He scratched at Kafe’s ear a little harder, but it was not unwelcome. When Kafe was done, Magnai seemed to let out a long, rough sigh.

“All these Garleans bothering you. When will you stay here with me?”

Kafe moved closer, rubbing against Magnai’s scales again. “When it’s all over.”

“That will take too many moons.”

“Then just learn to be patient.”

The Xaela huffed and Kafe smiled at him fondly.

“One day I will have that luxury. I want to settle here.” He explained, voice fading off slowly. 

“Not Gridania?” Magnai mused, settling into the bed again; if he was a miqo’te his tail would have been all fluffed out irritably. Kafe shook his head. “It is what I consider my homeland, but I like it here. Easier to fly.”

He didn’t know if Magnai said anything more, seeing as soon as he closed his eyes, there was a dark, cloudless sky instead of a comfortable bed. A moon, only a sliver of its form remaining, and grasslands as far the horizon. Tall trees dotted the landscape here and there, their bark and leaves a pure, abyssal black. Kafe stood in the middle of it all, his form that of only a child, his Ala Mhigan clothes as dirty as he remembered them. He stared down into his palms, then patted around for the little knife his mother had owned. He had grabbed it from her belt before the guards had taken all of her away.

Clutching the grip, Kafe took it from its sheath, turning the flat end up to act as a mirror. He saw no scars, no tattoos, only the blinding glint of his eyes in the darkness. His face was clean of all the blemishes of his orphaned youth, so he assumed this must be right after his mother’s death. He reached up a hand to squish a cheek, frowning at the almost baby feeling of his skin.

Kafe put his attention elsewhere, wondering why he was dreaming of his childhood after years and years of nothing similar. There was no one else in sight, the trees unmoving in the silence.

“Oh, how quaint… The Warrior of Light, so small.” Chuckled a voice, and Kafe felt his blood run ice cold. He turned slowly, seeing another denizen of the dream materialize out of the darkness. Zenos, in all his bulky armor and monstrous stature. Staring down at Kafe with eyes that both seemed bored but hungry.

Kafe tried to brandish his little knife, but realized he was of current age now, with no weapon in sight. All he had were the clothes on his back while his old would from Rhalgr’s Reach pulsed painfully. His eyes never left Zenos, for fear he would be gutted if his gaze left the man’s own.

Zenos was only a few yards away, but even then he seemed larger than life. Kafe felt the hair on the back of his neck stand on end, his tail shivering as the fur raised with fear. Pathetic, a voice echoed in his head. Over and over until it drawled in Zenos’s bored tone.

Kafe couldn’t move, his legs paralyzed in dread. Zenos began to walk, edging closer and closer. He went for his helmet, lifting it from his head and letting that shining blonde hair form around his shoulders. His eyes pierced Kafe down into his very soul, and kept him rooted to the ground.

“Your tenacity knows no bounds, Warrior of Light. Just standing before me deserves praise in itself.” Zenos all but purred, finally stopping to stand in front of the smaller man.

Kafe didn’t tilt his head, only let his eyes wander up to stare into Zenos’s. Hands clenched into tight fists, Kafe bit his lip. It wasn’t worth it to say anything to a dream.

Zenos tilted his head to the side, raising an eyebrow. “Oh, being brave? That’s good, that’s good… You should have been brave at the Vault. You should have been brave for that little resistance camp. You should be brave enough to kill your fears. Yet here we are.”

He reached down, cupping Kafe’s chin in his hand, making the miqo’te look up. Kafe glared furiously, irked by the touch. Still he did not say anything; it wasn’t worth it, it wasn’t worth it--

“Maybe Haurchefant would still be alive. Maybe your old wounds wouldn’t hurt. Maybe I’d really be dead, hmm?” The Garlean added, almost whispering as he smiled in that cruel and ravenous way that made Kafe’s bones shake. Being devoured just by a look, he didn’t like the helpless feeling that descended upon him.

The mere mention of Haurchefant made Kafe choke, and it was taking all his power to not leap at this man and slice his throat open. No, Zenos would like that. He wouldn’t give him the satisfaction, not ever.

A sudden pain, slicing through his chest. It dripped with something too heavy and thick to simply be blood. It felt like molten steel, gooey and bright like honey, searing into him.

Zenos leaned down, so that their faces were so close, lips breaths away. He grinned, eyes lidded in pleasure at seeing Kafe squirm. “Everything you love… everything you hold so dear to… Be careful should you lose it.”

A shock ran through Kafe, and he recalled jolting awake suddenly, chest tight and painful. He breathed heavily, eyes darting around his surroundings. Stone room at the Dawn Throne, little windows bringing in fresh air and moonlight, faint torchlight underneath the door, soft blankets, Magnai sleeping beside him… safe.

Bringing his knees up, Kafe curled into a ball, sweat dripping down his arms and back, tail raised with the remaining feelings of a far too vivid dream. He brought a hand to his bare chest, feeling the smooth scar running across his skin. The wound from Rhalgr’s Reach throbbed intensely, a ghost slashing a sword over him yet again. Magnai stirred next to him then, rolling onto his side, propping his head up on a hand. His eyes opened stiffly, but focused when he saw the state Kafe was in.

He reached out, sitting up and holding onto Kafe’s shoulders. “Kafe, Nhaama… what dreams haunted you?” The Xaela asked softly, burying his nose in Kafe’s hair.

Kafe plastered himself against Magnai’s chest, already breathing more evenly with the comforting contact. He took a deep breath, taking in the familiar scents; firewood and grass and sweat. The feeling was still too raw, so he said nothing. Magnai sighed, his breath tickling Kafe’s ear which made it twitch in his partner’s direction.

“Kafe.” Magnai urge, a bit more sternly this time. Kafe pressed his face closer to Magnai’s chest, ignoring the pricking of some loose scales and trying to ignore the inevitable conversation.

“Kafe.” The Xaela pressed Kafe’s shoulders away, making Kafe look him in the eyes. Still the miqo’te let his gaze wander, and he bit his lip stubbornly. Magnai was frowning, expression unrelenting as he continued to silently plead for his partner to talk. Finally, Kafe squirmed, turning his back to Magnai, leaning against the larger man and curling his body up. Magnai wordlessly obliged, wrapping an arm around Kafe, holding him close.

“I’m a coward, aren’t I?” Kafe mused softly, tip of his tail twitching back and forth like a clock. He felt the man behind him sigh into his hair, and felt a chin on the top of his head.

“What makes you say so? Have you not bested all of the Steppe? And those cursed Garleans?” Magnai pointed out, bringing a hand up to rub a thumb on the side of Kafe’s chin.

“That’s fighting.”

“Then what do you mean.”

Kafe wriggled, digging the palms of his hands against his eyes and seeing sparks. “I mean like…” He paused, leaving his hands covering his eyes. “I’ve run away from things.”

He felt Magnai breathe in deeply. Kafe knew Magnai came off as prideful and arrogant, and valued strength and power over many things. He reveled in fighting, but sometimes he surprised Kafe when they were alone, and he seemed much more gentle.

“I’ve run away from my fears and what I should be challenging them. I’m the Warrior of Light. I got drunk tonight, you know. I threw up over the Kugane docks.” Kafe heard Magnai chuckle.

“And what were you drinking to mask?” Asked the Xaela, thumb on Kafe’s neck going still.

“Zenos. Asashi. Yotsuyu.”

“That man haunts you so. And this Doman fool says he’s alive.”

Kafe took his hands from his eyes, staring into his palms as they steadily began to shake. “I have bested any who’ve stood in my way, I’ve cut them down for others’ sake. But him… He was merged with a Primal and still I could not win. I had help and... I could not win.”

Magnai tense behind him. “I don’t mind being hated. When I’m hated they don’t want me around, they just want me gone.”

A tense feeling pooled in Kafe’s stomach again as Zenos’ face flash across his vision. It brought both unending dread and an anger that burned brighter than he wanted it to. The voice of Fray that was always too similar to his own chuckled, telling him to just deal with it and run into Garlemald with sword blazing.

Magnai squeezed Kafe tighter, a growl rumbling in his chest. It sent a pleasant thrum through Kafe’s body, and he turned around until their faces were close. Magnai’s eyes looked past him, at some invisible threat that would tear them apart, and it comforted Kafe to know he had his partner’s protection.

“I wasn’t always like this.” Kafe started, thinking back to when he had been just anyone. A simple adventurer needing the coin to life day by day, not save Eorzea from Primals and villains sleeping amongst the crowds. Magnai listened quietly, as he did when Kafe talked of the past he remembered.

“I was a bright-eyed youth, but who wasn’t? I did odd jobs for a long time. Everything just started… happening.” He stared into his palms, squinting. “It just became worse. I became worse. I want to do good and save people, it’s just… very hard.”

“If you desire to do so, you must strain forwards. Through all that is holding you back.” Magnai said with a raised eyebrow, knowing he wasn’t going to hear of Kafe’s adventures and more so his self-depreciation.

Kafe’s eyes narrowed further. “You think I don’t know that? If I have people worrying about me, who knows how they in turn will get hurt?”

Realizing his point, Magnai huffed. He grabbed Kafe’s ear, giving the tip of it a small tug. The miqo’te hissed softly, tail lashing in annoyance as he fell back against Magnai’s chest. SIghing loudly, Kafe his his face against the other man’s dark skin.

“It’s… hurting.”

“The wound he gave you?”

“Yes…”

They both finally went quiet, and exhaustion flooded Kafe’s limbs. He was almost afraid to go back to sleep, afraid he would have a similar nightmare and wake up fearing something had been lost. Even with Magnai here his sleep was mostly restless, as evident by the dark circles under his eyes. Magnai pressed his lips to the top of Kafe’s head, then titled his face up, giving him a kiss against his lips.

Closing his eyes, Kafe leaned up, tail rasing in pleasure. He felt Magnai nip at his bottom lip, then break apart to nip down his neck. Hands coming up to grip the back of Magnai’s shoulders, Kafe dug his nails into the skin, hearing Magnai hum in contentment.

“May I exhaust you until you do not have the energy to dream?” Rumbled Magnai, eyes gazing up into Kafe’s, the bright yellow of his eyes glinting in the dark. Breath hitching, Kafe breathed out through his teeth, tail curling around them.

“Please.”


End file.
